TLDR: No one wants to be cheated on, but unfortunately it’s a reality in too many relationships. The first step to getting through it is to acknowledge what caused it. For some, the pain will be too much to bear, but for others, you might have your reasons for wanting to stick through it. Whatever your choice, remember, there’s no shame in doing what’s best for you.
Tango's Take 🔮
Today’s topic is far from a fun one, but it can’t be avoided when it comes to relationships. While it’s hard to know exactly how common cheating is, the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapy estimates that 15% of women and 20% of men have had affairs. When you add in emotional cheating and affairs that exclude sex, those numbers rise to 35% and 45%. This is in line with another YouGov study that found that 33% of Americans admitted to cheating. What’s interesting is that the YouGov study also found that most relationships survive cheating. While we hope you haven’t had personal experience with infidelity, you probably know someone who has.
So whether it’s advice you need for yourself or a friend, Dr. Rothman - our in-house relationship expert and licensed clinical psychologist - has some tips and reminders when it comes to dealing with infidelity:
“Nobody wants to be cheated on, and there’s no positive spin we can give to it. The reality is, however, that infidelity can happen to anyone at any point in their relationship. Once we accept that, we can start to look at it as more complex than one partner breaking the trust of another…infidelity is a sign that something is not right in the relationship for both partners – not just for the one who cheated.
When infidelity happens, it can be an opportunity to look at what is going wrong in the relationship, which can sometimes point us to clear solutions for improvement. Other times, the wound is too big to heal. There is no right or wrong answer on what to feel or do about cheating, because every circumstance is different, and everyone has different values. There is no shame in working through infidelity with a partner, nor is there shame in leaving.”
If this is something you’re dealing with, remember that it’s an intensely personal situation, so what’s most important is figuring out what the right next step is for you. And we’re thinking of you and sending a warm hug <3