TLDR: We love prenups because they help ensure that you’ve had some of the most important, hard conversations before you get married. We encourage couples to think about a prenup as an exercise in marital collaboration vs. divorce preparation. While we can’t necessarily say whether or not you should get a prenup, we do think everyone should at least have the conversation because it’ll help bring so many important points to light.
Of all the taboo relationship topics out there, prenups are one of our favorites because as much as knowledge is power, money is also power. And being knowledgeable about your money is the most powerful of all.
Tango's Take 🔮
What might shock you is that while twelve years ago only 3% of couples got a prenup, today it’s estimated that 42% of couples aged 18-34 are signing prenups - and the numbers are only rising. Further, a recent survey of 5,000 couples revealed that when it comes to inheritances and premarital property, the vast majority of couples choose to keep things separate. 90% are keeping inheritances in their own name and 70% are doing so with premarital property. So if you’re looking into getting a prenup, you’re certainly not alone. According to the founders of HelloPrenup, a company that makes getting a prenup easier and cheaper, 262,000 people are Googling the word prenup each month.
But we understand that even suggesting a prenup can bring up a lot of emotions. Prenups get a bad rap because people think of them as documents used to prepare for an eventual divorce. But that’s not the whole story. Marriage, whether you want to think of it like this or not, is a legal partnership. If you were starting a company with someone, you would certainly outline an agreement for the terms of the partnership, right? So why not for marriage?
If you or your partner is skeptical about a prenup, think about this: wouldn’t you rather discuss this now when things are good, instead of potentially discussing it later when you can’t even begin to see eye to eye? Part of marriage is talking about hard things, so it’s important that you get comfortable doing so. Something else to remember is that prenups aren’t just about protecting your assets. They’re also about shielding your partner from inheriting your debt. As part of a prenup, you can include details of how you’ll handle debt ownership during - and if necessary - after marriage.
Another misconception is that prenups only protect the partner who has more assets. But many prenups also include agreements that are intended to help the partner who might have less financial stability in the event of a divorce. Remember, you’re writing the prenup when your relationship is in a good place, so while you’ll want to look out for yourself, you also don’t want your partner to feel that it’s an unfair agreement. And while you should understand that it’s legally binding and there’s a chance it may be used, prenups are as much good practice in compromise and collaboration as they are a legal agreement.
When it comes to prenups, we encourage you to remind yourselves that they are intended to give you and your partner a voice. If you don’t have a prenup, the state gets to decide what happens to your finances in the event of a divorce. So who do you trust more to ensure you’re set up for success - yourself or your state?
Whether you currently have or plan to have kids, pets, a business, family assets, or debt, we recommend exploring the prenup route. This doesn’t mean you necessarily have to sign one - though we encourage it - but even beginning the prenup conversation will bring other important discussions to light.