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Is it normal to have doubts?

TLDR: Doubts are completely normal at any stage of a relationship, but it’s critical to identify the root of your doubts earlier rather than later to ensure you work through them before they become a bigger issue.

Tango's Take 🔮

We’ve all been in a situation where we’ve made a decision and then started to question whether it was right or not. The thing with relationships is that you’re probably never going to be 100% certain because it’s only human to wonder 'What if?'. Dr. Rothman, our in-house psychologist, provides some helpful reassurance and guidance if you’re currently going through something similar:

“It is normal to have doubts about a relationship at any point–yes, even after moving in together, getting engaged, getting married, having a baby together, etc. We are ever-changing and maturing as individuals (and so are our partners) which means that our relationships are always changing too. Change doesn’t always feel so good, so doubts are going to pop up. No need to panic!

What we will say is that it’s important to identify where the doubts might be coming from. Is it gut instinct that something is wrong? If something feels wrong, can that be worked through with your partner? With a therapist? Is the doubt stemming purely from worry or anxiety without there being any evidence that something is off? Is this something your partner can help you work through? A friend, a loved one, a therapist?

The presence of doubt is not in itself a reason to run, but the details matter. The more investment and commitment in a relationship, the more important it becomes to explore where these doubts are coming from and see if they can be worked through.”

**If relationship doubts are present because there is emotional, sexual, physical, financial, or psychological abuse going on, this may be a reason to consider leaving for your safety. See here for resources if this applies to you.

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